Mar 18, 2011

...naturally I can!

Salam to you!

As part of Asian family, I'm experiencing the high expectation from parent to be better than anyone, be it academically and aesthethically. Back in my childhood days my parent will do anything to push me to the top spot at academic level, in a way they successful to put me among top student. For me, it was the only way to make my parent proud and not yelling at me for locking myself in room most of the time. Pretty much I was anti-social, keeping good grades, stay out of trouble, outcast in my own world. The pressure continue until I entered form 6, where I have to make my own choice to further my studies, my parent said I have to choose it and I kind a make the worst decision ever but I never regret it because my school was such an ass to not offer many subjects

Taking my major as historical studies and learn more about my country and anything regional was pretty upset but I have to take it anyway. I sensed that my parent are not really that proud that one of their child is only an undergraduates, because my dad (as always) want me to go further, along with the so-called encouragement from my family to do more than expected, like; be the next minister, be someone who will be called VVIP that will appear in the news! Yeah, its a fucking preassure! Even my family questioned my choice taking historical major, I won't be a lawyer anytime soon nor a curator (wait...it sound interesting tough...let me think about it)

If my grades improve and I'll qualified to take major, I will take that chance to make a very grusome thesis that it will make my history department goes crazy. It will be about the history of war that varied from time and place, what could change this ideology? What motivate them to wage a war? How the intellegence and moral justify their action? I'm also planning to make history of Bloody Brunei, I want dig hard regarding war, murder, anything that have to do with killing, blood, genocide. I want to put them into my studies snd see what's that get me. Yeah, I grow tired with peace and harmony history in Brunei and their not much of blood rage, of course if they allow me to do that without the involvement of sensitive issues like royalty then it won't be much of problem. I mean, I despise gossip without solid proof.

This is my choice and I do hope it make my parents' head shake their head, I mean I did too much to make them proud and I should have my fun too.